Remember When...

Remember when God gave us Russell?

I think it's easy to see that Caleb was a miracle baby.

But sometimes 8lb 5oz babies are miracles, too.

Nate and I always thought that two years was a great gap between our children.  I don't know why.  Maybe because that's how everyone else seemed to do it.  So shortly after Caleb's first birthday we started praying and thinking about how to go about having another baby.  Looking back, it seemed so early.  Caleb was 13 months, but as far as milestones he was only 10 months.  And his health and eating was so poor.  We really had a lot to worry about with him at that point.  But I started "doctor shopping" anyway.  I saw two doctors (neither of which I actually ended up liking).  One gave me a prescription for the same high dose of fertility drugs that was required to get pregnant with Caleb (200mg of Clomid).  The other said that our bodies change after having a baby, so it would be wise to start with a lower dose (50mg) and work my way up 50mg at a time until I got pregnant.  That's how I did it for my first pregnancy, and it took five rounds of Clomid over the course of nine months.  That's a lot of time.

Nate and I prayed about it.  It was scary to think about our chances of having multiples if I took the higher dose, especially since we had no way to know if I would deliver early again or not.  If I could only carry one baby to 27 weeks, how far could I get with two?  It was a scary thought.  Our prayers were answered and we felt confident that I should take the higher dose of fertility drugs.

I didn't get pregnant on the first round.  The medicine made me really sick.  I remember telling Nate that I wasn't willing to take it a third time if I didn't get pregnant on the second round.  I just couldn't handle deliberately making myself that sick.  That we'd have to take a few months off, and take our time.

Then Caleb was put in the hospital for five days with RSV, a stomach virus, and an ear infection.  He was so dehydrated that the IV fluids made him gain a whole pound in one day.  He was 16 months old and only reached 17 pounds because of the fluids.  He looked like a different baby.  And we had to postpone the scope that would ultimately diagnose him with an eosinophilic disorder because he had a respiratory virus and couldn't go under anesthesia.

Then I got pregnant, after only two rounds of Clomid.  We were very happy.  It was all part of our plans.  Just what we wanted.  Our second baby would be born just one month after Caleb turned two.  Perfect.

Then, not more than a month later, Caleb was diagnosed with eosinophilic enteritis.  I was about eight weeks along, and scared to death.  It's hereditary.  Caleb would need a feeding tube.  He would have needed one even if he hadn't received this diagnosis.  What if I went on bed rest?  What if I had another dangerously early preemie?  All of the what ifs just seemed like too much to handle.

I kept thinking that if I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did, I would have put it off without hesitation.  Truthfully, I resented my pregnancy for a while.  It was such bad timing.  We should have waited until Caleb's medical conditions had stabilized and we had all adjusted, which I sometimes feel may never happen.  We may have been a family of three indefinitely; always feeling as though something is missing, but not having the courage to act on it because of our previous and scary experiences with Caleb.

The one thing that gave me comfort during my pregnancy was the knowledge that Russell would be part of our family because God wanted him here.  It certainly wasn't a risk that I was willing to take.  If I hadn't taken the higher dose of Clomid, if I hadn't gotten pregnant on the second round, if Caleb's scope hadn't been pushed back...then I would have chosen to not have another baby.  God chose to give us Russell--failure to thrive, blue eyes, bald head, silly little personality, unknowns and all.  He was meant to be in our family, so God made it happen just when it needed to happen.

And I'm so glad it happened how it did.

"Friends"

I put "friends" in quotations because these aren't just regular, ordinary friends.  Caleb has a handful of those, too, but these friends are special.  Meet the "friends:"

Funny Bunny

 Mickey Mouse

 Woofie Doggie

Each friend has his own story.  Funny Bunny was at the check-in desk at the Children's Hospital when Caleb went in for one of his scopes.  I believe it was his second or his third scope.  Caleb pointed to it and asked the receptionist if he could hold it.  She told him he could have it, and he has clung to it ever since.  Sometimes he wakes in the night, crying because he can't find Funny Bunny.  He named him himself--Funny Bunny makes a squeaking, laughing noise and it's a bit creepy and a bit funny.  Hence, Funny Bunny.

Mickey Mouse was acquired at Disney World when we went there in the spring of 2012 for my brother's wedding.  Caleb has been a Mickey Mouse fan from the first time he saw Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  Our very own Mickey Mouse joined our family just after meeting the real Mickey Mouse at the Magic Kingdom.

Woofie Doggie has been around for a very long time.  During the third month of Caleb's NICU stay, the Parent Support Network came to his room as they did once a week and gave us a gift.  She told me I could choose a bear or a cowboy dog.  Of course I picked the cowboy dog!  He wears a little red bandanna on his neck.  One day when Caleb was old enough to talk, I told him that we should give a name to his doggie and asked him what he wanted to name it.  He thought for a second, and I suggested Cowboy.  He said, "No!  Woofie Doggie!"  So Woofie Doggie it is.

Every night when we tuck Caleb into bed, he asks for his friends.  We give them to him and he takes each one and puts it on his chest, facing outward, and puts his arm around them, rolls to his left side, and sticks his left thumb in his mouth.

Caleb needs all three friends at bedtime, unless, of course, one of them is dirty.  He's fine if he has to wait for a friend to go through the laundry, he just needs to know where it is before going to bed.  He is also fine if he can only take one friend on overnight trips.  If all three friends are dirty at the same time, like they were last night when they were all soiled with vomit, then he will gladly take a replacement.  But he's always glad to get his true friends back.

snuggling his friends on the couch while recovering from his stomach virus

Happy Mother's Day to ME!

Yesterday, Nate and I came down with a nasty stomach virus.  Not fun.  We're still fighting it off.  Caleb is currently eating uncooked rice pasta (he calls it "crunchy pasta") for lunch while standing a few feet from the TV, watching The Lorax.  Russell is being really clingy, after a day of me either laying in bed or laying on the couch.  I threw up 3 times and lost seven pounds.  Nate lost count of how many times he threw up.  It was at least seven.  And guess what else?  Nate hadn't taken the boys shopping for my Mother's Day gift yet.  He had planned to do that on Saturday.  Those plans were foiled!

But I got the best gift this morning!  Sprite in bed (my stomach is still a bit sensitive), a dandelion and a tulip, a song sung by Mr. Caleb, and this Q&A (answers provided by Caleb):

1.       What is something mom always says to you? I love you. She says that to me.

2.      What makes mom happy? Me!

3.      What makes mom sad? Frowning. Frowning makes everyone sad.

4.      How does your mom make you laugh? Because she has to.

5.      What was your mom like as a child? She liked the playground. But she kind of doesn’t fit.

6.      What is her favorite thing to do? Clean up

7.      What does your mom do when you’re not around? She just gets stickers and glues them on. And flowers

8.     If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Because she will.

9.      What is your mom really good at? She’s good at painting.

10.  What is your mom not very good at? She’s not very good at getting Blue’s Clues on.

11.   What does your mom do for a job? She gets houses.

12.  What is your mom’s favorite food? Nike’s

13.  What makes you proud of your mom? Kind of good and good and good and good and good.

14.  If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Kind of, kind of, Steve.

15.   What do you and your mom do together? We just clean up. Ha ha.

16.  How are you and your mom the same? It makes me the same because I have to go outside. Trambordyish, Trambordyish, Trambordyish. That means words.  

17.   How are you and your mom different? Because she has to be different.

18.  How do you know your mom loves you? Because she has to love me, because she loves me today.

19.  What does your mom like most about your dad? She loves you! A lot!

20. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go? Kind of … Adobe.

21.  What do you want to tell your Mom on Mother’s Day? Happy Birthday. 

There are lots of mothers in the world.

What is a mother, anyway?

A mother is someone to have fun with.

A mother is someone who gives comfort.

A mother is someone who teaches.

A mother is someone who cares.

A mother is someone who is there when it matters.

A mother is someone who influences.

A mother is someone who sees the good in her children.

A mother is someone who sacrifices.

A mother is someone who values what's important.

A mother is someone who loves unconditionally.

Sometimes, another word for mother is Auntie.

Thank you, Auntie Jenna, for being such a great mother to your nephews.

Newest Tricks

Fetch!  Good puppies!


This trick is awesome.  Really comes in handy, I tell ya.  He'll have a fit if he doesn't get to throw away his diapers.  He also asks to throw away other trash, and he has only thrown one non-trash item in the garbage thus far.


Two little monkeys, jumpin' on the couch!


Smile.  :)

I'm obsessed with taking pictures of my kids eating.

I used to take videos of Russell holding and downing a sippy cup of formula, because it was something Caleb never did willingly, and it wowed me every time.  I'm weird, I know.

Hot dogs on bread with ketchup (which he didn't actually eat any of, but he had a great time playing with it):

 Eating a turkey sandwich, just like Fabian the cat does in his favorite book, Hondo and Fabian:

 Spaghetti with sauce:

 He saw Auntie get out some pasta for lunch, so he got his leftover spaghetti out of the fridge and sat on the arm of the couch next to her and they ate together:

 Chocolate chip pancakes:

 Macaroni and cheese!  That's like...regular toddler food!:

 More mac'n'cheese:

 Scraping the jam off of a piece of bread (which he wouldn't eat) with a freeze dried apple (which he ate a few of):

 Pizza!  For real!  He "decorated" it himself!  He did a great job eating the toppings:

 Olive finger. *snicker*:

 Russell's olive finger, too:

 Nate got something from Burger King with a coupon, but the only thing Caleb could have from it was the ketchup.  So he ate (ok, more like tasted) it like this:

 Making cookies together for the first time!:

 The beautiful cookies.  They actually tasted pretty good, too!:

 Steak, baked potatoes, and green beans.  A real cowboy meal.  Granddad would be proud:

My all-time favorite dessert place is Maui Chill.  It's about two miles from our house, and it's owned by some friends of ours.  My sister and I go there at least once a week and a few days ago we discovered that there is a flavor of sorbet that Caleb can have!  Here he is eating mango sorbet at Maui Chill:

 He finished his first 3 ounces in no time at all (seriously, he didn't even pause to talk!!!) and this is him declaring "I want more!"

So we got him seconds.  :)  Can you blame me for spoiling him??

And all of these things were free of dairy, wheat, soy, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, and shellfish.  Pretty amazing, huh?

I think other moms pack goldfish crackers and fruit snacks in their diaper bags.  I'm most likely to pack olives and mini pepperonis.  Both kids love those like crazy.  (I don't.)  Caleb's other favorite foods are cookies and turkey sandwich meat.  He isn't a big fan of bread, bananas, or hot dogs.  We have to push him, but he will drink 10-15oz of chocolate coconut milk mixed with rice milk each day.  The rice milk is higher in calories and calcium and costs less while the chocolate coconut milk is higher in fat and iron.  He gets 5oz of hypoallergenic medical formula mixed with 5oz of rice milk (straight formula makes him throw up) with his feeding pump at 60ml/hour while he sleeps at night plus a few quick ounces through his tube right before bed.  He lost half a pound in the first few days with decreased tube feedings, but he has now gained back almost all of it!  That's pretty amazing!

This is a strange and wonderful world that we're living in!  We're certainly enjoying the new changes.

Being a second child

He points to it and says "potty" while trying to pull down his pants.  Then he sits his little booty down on it and says "cheese."

I just love that irresistible smile.