Friday, October 26, 2012

My dysfunctional relationship with food.

I hate food.  

I hate what it's done to my family.  I hate that my son can't have it.  I hate that he doesn't want it.  I hate that he needs it.  I hate what it's like to see the food that I worked so hard to get in my son come right back out.  I hate how it makes my son feel.  Sometimes, I hate how it makes me feel.  I hate that it's everywhere.  I hate how food plays a central role in every single holiday.  I hate how it feels to see and smell food when you're not hungry.  I hate that it's trendy to make food look attractive.  I hate that everyone says, "The kitchen is the most important room in the home."  I hate that.  I hate that everyone's suggestion for increasing family unity is to have meals together.  I hate that I need food.  I hate that I depend on food physically and sometimes emotionally, too.  I hate that I actually enjoy food.  I hate that I enjoy food that my son can't have.  I hate the power that it has over me.

I love food.

I love how it tastes.  I love how it feels to eat something savory, just when you crave it.  I love how it feels to eat something sweet, just when you crave it.  I love how it feels to crave something healthy.  I love creating something beautiful with food.  I love the recognition I receive when I create something beautiful and delicious.

Maybe some day food and I can have a better relationship.  I think it will take time.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


On Saturday we got a call from our neighbor who is a nursery leader at Church.  She is a school teacher and had raised caterpillar eggs.  Most of them had hatched out of their chrysalises by Saturday afternoon and were ready to be set free.  She was going to set them free with the toddlers during nursery the next day, but the cage was getting crowded and they were ready to go!

She was so thoughtful and called a handful of families in our neighborhood to come and watch.  We were so excited!  When we got there she started giving butterflies to all of the kids to hold, and Caleb absolutely refused to hold one!  Alas, we had finally found an animal that Caleb was scared of!  HA!  

So I would hold one while Caleb was on my lap.  He had a lot of fun looking at them and watching the other kids holding them.  But three times he refused to hold one.  We were about to give up when the butterfly on my hand flew onto Caleb's hand!  He seemed at that point to be too scared to move, so he just stood there, looking at it.

These pictures, taken in succession, tell the whole story:

Hmmm...I don't know about this!

Oh...well, it is kinda soft....

Mommy, take it off!

Mommy: What should we name the butterfly?
Caleb: Hmmm....

Its name

Ah!  It flew onto my head!!!!!

Silly butterfly!

Butterflies everywhere!

Butterflies are fun!

He's my friend.

While hanging out on Caleb's head, the butterfly was drying out so he would be ready to fly.  He left some juices from his wings in Caleb's hair!  It was such a fun, unique experience!  We have the most thoughtful neighbors to think to invite us to do something like this.  I hope Caleb remembers it forever.  I know I will!