Sunday, December 13, 2015

Crazy Kid Quotes

Russell--Mom, what are those rat things that aren't wearing any clothes?
Me--Naked Mole Rats?

Caleb--Mom, I was watching you from behind when you were going up the stairs, and I thought, even from behind you look like a princess!

Caleb, thinking to himself as he tries to figure out where I am--Where is my beautiful mother?

Caleb--You eat your eye boogers like me?!  Mom, Russell eats eye boogers like me!!  (while I try not to puke)

Caleb--I like playing with Chelsea because she's really easy to catch.  I like playing 'boys chase girls' on the playground.  Mom, we should play that, then we could chase you!

Russell--Your eyes look like sunshine.

Russell--I can spell BYU!
Me--How do you spell BYU?

Caleb and Nate went into a restaurant bathroom and they were out of toilet paper.  Caleb said, "I'm going to do something that will make them so happy!" and he went to the cupboard underneath the sink and pulled out a new roll of toilet paper.  He then put the toilet paper completely on the holder and Nate told him, "That was so nice of you!  I bet they'll really appreciate that."  Caleb replied, "I do what I can."
[Caleb always voluntarily puts the toilet paper on the holder at our house.  Always.]

Russell--How does Santa know what toys to bring me?  [He was concerned that Santa wouldn't bring him "kid" toys.]
Me--Well, I guess it's because Santa knows everything.
Russell--Like girls do?!  [Caleb and Russ often ask me how I know so much, and I tell them it's because moms know everything.]
Later that day, I told Nate about what Russell said and Caleb asked what we were laughing about.  I told him the story, and he didn't laugh.  I asked him if girls really do know everything, and completely seriously he said, "No, but moms do."  I've trained them well.  ;)

Caleb wrote me a note that said, "I love you, Mom."  He told Nate that he wrote it because I was being mean and he wanted to show me how to be nice (I kept getting after them during quite time because they were being anything but quiet!)  That night, I made them cookies.  When I gave them the cookies, I said, "I made you these so you can't ever think I'm a mean mom."  Russell said, "You should make us cookies every day so we don't ever think you're a mean mom."

Russell--I want all the food in the whole house!....So I can have a tummy ache!

Russell--Why did the chicken cross the road?  To make friends!

I got the hiccups one morning and Caleb told me, "Mom, the way to stop hiccuping is you hop on one foot in a circle while counting to ten."  I asked him where he heard of that and he said, "I thought of it in my head."

Russell--Mom, you have to eat a pineapple so you won't have hiccups.  [Apparently he got that from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.]

Zachery--laughs when I hiccup.

When I told Russell that pencils work in outer space, he said, "Yeah, and you can play connect-star.  Like connect-the-dots."

Russell--(holding up a twizzler) I think these should be sucky-twizzies, not "twizzlers" because they don't TWIZ!

Russell--I feel sad for flies, because chameleons eat them, and so do spiders, so they might go extinct!  [No one else in the world is concerned about flies going extinct except my Russell Sprout.]

Russell--Guess what?  The Gila monster, they have a venomous bite.

Caleb--Isn't is sad that sometimes people kill pigs to eat them?  Is that why farmers are around, to save the pigs?  [LOL!  I can hear my granddad, a pig farmer by trade, turning over in his grave.  We need to move to the country STAT!  These kids need to be taught some life lessons!]

Caleb--Isn't that crazy that so many people were praying for me?
Russell--Yeah.  And they didn't even know you!
Caleb--Yeah.  Some of them did.  And I'm glad, because I didn't want to have heart surgery.
(I told him recently about how he almost had heart surgery as a baby.)

(Russell was playing with his animals and a shoebox, pretending that it was Noah's Ark.)
Me--Wow, Russ, there were t-rex's on Noah's Ark?
Russell--Yeah!  And then they ATE HIM!

Russell--Mom, what's a "dame?"  (from BaBa Black Sheep)
Me--A dame is a lovely lady.
Russell (thinking...)--Mom, you're a dame!

Caleb--Feel my heart!
Me--It's pounding!  Maybe you should take a break.
Caleb--No, I don't want to!  It makes me feel alive!

Russell--Mom, I love you 100!  Daddy, I love you 39....

Caleb--Did you know what?  Firemens even break stuff, that's why they like their jobs so much.
[Turns out that's exactly what the firemen at Caleb's field trip said...but it was still funny coming out of his mouth!]

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