Thursday, September 16, 2010

I'm glad it worked out the way it did.

Sometimes the thought crosses my mind that maybe I was never meant to have babies. I mean, it took almost a year and a half to get pregnant and then I could only stay pregnant for 27 weeks. I'm just not good at having kids.

Then I feel guilty for wanting more.

But then I think of how important it was that The Kid made it to this earth. There were so many opportunities for him to just not exist. That's how important he is. I just hope that I am now worthy and capable of helping this special baby to reach his full, amazing potential.

I'm so glad that I don't have to take that huge responsibility on my shoulders alone. I have The Boy, and the Lord.

It most certainly is not an accident that it worked out how it did. It is nothing short of miraculous.


Katie B said...

That was really beautiful and touching. Thanks for writing that.

Natalie said...

I hear ya loud and clear! Matt and I were just discussing future kids the other day ... whew. What a choice. I like the part about "I'm just not good at having kids." I swear I have said those EXACT words so many times! Definitely not one of my strengths, either!

Patrick, Adrienne, & Bella said...

it took us almost a year to get pregnant with bella and then we turned around got pregnant without planning a single thing this time (she's a LOT more sensitive than the first one about staying in), but i sure did feel guilty for getting pregnant "the easy way". it sucks to feel that way, but the wonderful positive side you feel is great. :)